AT: “Mom, know what? When the flowers are pretty and colorful, it’s like China.”
Me: “China? How do you know about China?”
AT: “Jackie went on a loooong trip to China.” (Jackie is one of her teachers, Mom) “Do you want to go to China, Mom? You can wear my seatbelt. I went to China when I was a baby.”
Me: “No you didn’t, Auddie. You’ve never been to China.”
AT: big smile.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Exchange between Grace and Auddie
AT: Mom, what comes after Easter?
Me: Mother’s Day…then Father’s Day…then your birthday!
AT: I wanna princess party.
Me: You already had one of those. I thought you wanted Dora.
AT: No…I changed my mind.
Me: Do you want it at a gym, the Children’s Museum, or at home?
AT: I dunno. Gracie, where are you going to have your birthday party?
GT: I don’t know.
AT: You can have it at ‘nastics, the Children’s Museum, Zachary’s house, Kendall’s house (these are Auddie’s friends)…
GT: Um, no thanks.
AT: Are you gonna have a princess party, Gracie? Or a Hannah Montana party? Or High School Musical?
GT: Um, I’m not having a theme, Audrey.
Me: Mother’s Day…then Father’s Day…then your birthday!
AT: I wanna princess party.
Me: You already had one of those. I thought you wanted Dora.
AT: No…I changed my mind.
Me: Do you want it at a gym, the Children’s Museum, or at home?
AT: I dunno. Gracie, where are you going to have your birthday party?
GT: I don’t know.
AT: You can have it at ‘nastics, the Children’s Museum, Zachary’s house, Kendall’s house (these are Auddie’s friends)…
GT: Um, no thanks.
AT: Are you gonna have a princess party, Gracie? Or a Hannah Montana party? Or High School Musical?
GT: Um, I’m not having a theme, Audrey.
What Audrey calls "floss"
Teeth string
...and she rinses with Wash Mouth
She also sits in her Seat Car.
...and she rinses with Wash Mouth
She also sits in her Seat Car.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Audrey and Zach talk about the "Tooth Fairy"
Audrey: Hey, Zach, you wanna see my loose tooth (she doesn't have one, but she moves her finger back and forth over it as if she does)
Zach: I have one, too (no, he doesn't)
Audrey: Did the Fairy Godmother (she meant Tooth Fairy!) come visit you, then?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
November 2008
My friend/cubicle-mate, Jonna, helped me with the girls last night because I had a photoshoot. Jonna took them to gymnastics and then picked up dinner on the way home. She’s hears my Auddie/GT stories every day (and she’s had dinner with us, so she’s met Auddie & Nina), but to spend quality time with them – in a car, no less – is completely different. Here’s a taste of what she got:
GT: Who won the Governor’s race?
GT: What city do you live in?
AT: Dodo lives in Richland (Dodo is her imaginary friend and Jonna, fortunately, already knew about him)
AT: What are stoplights? Why do we have to stop?
GT: Have you seen that puppet show that’s on YouTube?
AT: I got a shot. And I cut my finger.
GT: Who won the Governor’s race?
GT: What city do you live in?
AT: Dodo lives in Richland (Dodo is her imaginary friend and Jonna, fortunately, already knew about him)
AT: What are stoplights? Why do we have to stop?
GT: Have you seen that puppet show that’s on YouTube?
AT: I got a shot. And I cut my finger.
Audrey talks with "Ed," the window repairman
Ed arrived this morning to repair a window upstairs; Audrey was fascinated. She waved to him and said, "Hi Ed." As she sat and ate her waffles, she shouted to him, "Ed, what are doing." He replied, "I'm fixing your window." She said, "are you going to make it feel better?" "Yes," said Ed. Then Ed went through the window and onto the roof, making his job even more interesting to Audrey.
Again, she shouted, "Ed, are you on our roof? Did you know Santa Claus goes on our roof, too?" Then she rambled..."...yeah, but he fell off the roof..." which she got from last year's obsession with the movie Santa Clause.
Again, she shouted, "Ed, are you on our roof? Did you know Santa Claus goes on our roof, too?" Then she rambled..."...yeah, but he fell off the roof..." which she got from last year's obsession with the movie Santa Clause.
October 2008
Mom, can I say darnit?
Yes, but only if something bad happens.
Mona said I can’t say darnit at school.
Oh, well, then you can’t say it at school. How about saying “oops” instead?
Noooo (she whines)…I wanna say darnit!
When Gracie was 3 she said “oh, pickles.” How about that?
(after laughing, she gets serious) No, I wanna say darnit.
******************************
Can I say bum-bum?
Yes, but only when you’re in the bathroom or referring to your bum. You don’t use it to call people names.
Can I say bum-bum head?
No, that’d be calling someone a name.
Can I say bum-bum pants?
Well, that doesn’t make any sense, so you shouldn’t say it.
But I wanna say bum-bum-pants! (she whines, again).
Sigh, life is so tough as a 3 year old.
*******************************
Her out-of the-blue statement:
“Neenie is a turd.”
Yes, but only if something bad happens.
Mona said I can’t say darnit at school.
Oh, well, then you can’t say it at school. How about saying “oops” instead?
Noooo (she whines)…I wanna say darnit!
When Gracie was 3 she said “oh, pickles.” How about that?
(after laughing, she gets serious) No, I wanna say darnit.
******************************
Can I say bum-bum?
Yes, but only when you’re in the bathroom or referring to your bum. You don’t use it to call people names.
Can I say bum-bum head?
No, that’d be calling someone a name.
Can I say bum-bum pants?
Well, that doesn’t make any sense, so you shouldn’t say it.
But I wanna say bum-bum-pants! (she whines, again).
Sigh, life is so tough as a 3 year old.
*******************************
Her out-of the-blue statement:
“Neenie is a turd.”
September 2008
On Sat, Grace had her cousins over to celebrate her b-day. Before we left to get them, Audrey announced, "I'm gonna get this party started. I'll go get the GREE-DEE-ENTS." Michael asked, "the what?" And after a few attempts, we realized she was saying INGREDIENTS, which are plates, napkins and cups. :-)
**********************************
Today in the car she said excitedly (as if realizing it for the first time), "Mom, Nina doesn't eat from your boobies anymore! She's a big girl!"
*********************************
Today Nina got to sit forward-facing in the carseat, so Audrey said to her, "You're big now Nina. You're 3!"
*****************************
"I wanna be nice." Says this when she's told she can't have something because of her attitude.
******************************
"I wanna pay with gwoo." (I wanna play with glue)
**********************************
Today in the car she said excitedly (as if realizing it for the first time), "Mom, Nina doesn't eat from your boobies anymore! She's a big girl!"
*********************************
Today Nina got to sit forward-facing in the carseat, so Audrey said to her, "You're big now Nina. You're 3!"
*****************************
"I wanna be nice." Says this when she's told she can't have something because of her attitude.
******************************
"I wanna pay with gwoo." (I wanna play with glue)
Even More December 2008
I was painting Auddie’s nails last night and she said, “I like you, Mommy.” Then she puckered up for a kiss. Afterward, she said shyly, “I think we’re married.”
***************************************
This morning she said, “Mom, remember when Nina was in your tummy yesterday?” I replied, “Well, I had her a year ago.” Audrey’s eyes got wide, she knelt in front of Nina and said happily, “Nina! You were born!”
***************************************
This morning she said, “Mom, remember when Nina was in your tummy yesterday?” I replied, “Well, I had her a year ago.” Audrey’s eyes got wide, she knelt in front of Nina and said happily, “Nina! You were born!”
More December 2008
The setup – middle of the night; me laying on Audrey’s bed with her. I picked at something on her cheek.
She asked, “What is it, Mom?”
“I think it’s a little pimple. Go to sleep.”
Wide-eyed, she said, “Mom, what’s a pimple?”
“It’s just something people get on their face from time to time. No biggie.”
“You know what…I went outside with Mona (her teacher) and I fell, and a pimple flew on my face.”
Me: “Ah, of course. Now go to sleep.”
***************************************
Last night, same setup. Audrey is now picking at her pimple.
“Audrey, stop picking at the pimple.”
“It’s not a pimple, it’s a booger.”
***************************************
Setup – Audrey wants Michael to play catch with her in the living room. She makes him wear a baseball hat.
After a couple of throws, she says, “You’re not very good at this, Dad, we need to do something else.”
She asked, “What is it, Mom?”
“I think it’s a little pimple. Go to sleep.”
Wide-eyed, she said, “Mom, what’s a pimple?”
“It’s just something people get on their face from time to time. No biggie.”
“You know what…I went outside with Mona (her teacher) and I fell, and a pimple flew on my face.”
Me: “Ah, of course. Now go to sleep.”
***************************************
Last night, same setup. Audrey is now picking at her pimple.
“Audrey, stop picking at the pimple.”
“It’s not a pimple, it’s a booger.”
***************************************
Setup – Audrey wants Michael to play catch with her in the living room. She makes him wear a baseball hat.
After a couple of throws, she says, “You’re not very good at this, Dad, we need to do something else.”
December 2008
“Mom, why am I wearing this shirt?”
“Because I picked it out and it’s cute.”
“But I wore it last week! I can’t wear it again.”
“Mom, I wanna be Edward Scissorhands for Halloween.”
“The movie scared you, Audrey, why would you want to be him for Halloween?”
“I’m not thinking of the movie, Mom, I’m thinking of the costume.”
5 minutes later, she said, “I don’t want to be Edward. Nina can be Edward Scissorhands.”
She got in trouble at school for telling her teachers “no,” so I sat her down for a heart-to-heart. I basically said that she couldn’t tell her teachers, parents or grandparents “no.” She said, “ok, Mom,” then left the room. She returned 5 minutes later and said, “I can say ‘Thanks, but No….?”
I replied, “Only when the request is food-related.”
“Because I picked it out and it’s cute.”
“But I wore it last week! I can’t wear it again.”
“Mom, I wanna be Edward Scissorhands for Halloween.”
“The movie scared you, Audrey, why would you want to be him for Halloween?”
“I’m not thinking of the movie, Mom, I’m thinking of the costume.”
5 minutes later, she said, “I don’t want to be Edward. Nina can be Edward Scissorhands.”
She got in trouble at school for telling her teachers “no,” so I sat her down for a heart-to-heart. I basically said that she couldn’t tell her teachers, parents or grandparents “no.” She said, “ok, Mom,” then left the room. She returned 5 minutes later and said, “I can say ‘Thanks, but No….?”
I replied, “Only when the request is food-related.”
Even More February 2009
In the car, she said, “Mom, I want $5.”
I said, “I’m not giving you $5, Auddie, but I’ll give you some coins.”
She said, “I want them for my piggy bank.”
“What are you saving for?” I asked.
“A watch for your birthday.”
I said, “That’s so nice, Audrey, thanks.”
She said, “Yeah, but I’ll have to ask Dad to give me a ride to the mall because I can’t drive.”
__________________
She also said, “Mom, I want another Scooby Doo (show).”
I said, I don’t have another one taped, Auddie.
She said, “Well, we can go to DST.com.” She meant PBS.com because that’s where she goes with michael to play Arthur games. J
I said, “I’m not giving you $5, Auddie, but I’ll give you some coins.”
She said, “I want them for my piggy bank.”
“What are you saving for?” I asked.
“A watch for your birthday.”
I said, “That’s so nice, Audrey, thanks.”
She said, “Yeah, but I’ll have to ask Dad to give me a ride to the mall because I can’t drive.”
__________________
She also said, “Mom, I want another Scooby Doo (show).”
I said, I don’t have another one taped, Auddie.
She said, “Well, we can go to DST.com.” She meant PBS.com because that’s where she goes with michael to play Arthur games. J
More February 2009
Last night Audrey was writing her name on Valentine’s cards for her class.
“Mom, this is gonna be a GREAT Valentine’s Day. I’m gonna rock my show.”
I laughed and she said, “You have to rock your show, Mom.”
This morning I told her she’s going to the Disney Playhouse thing this weekend with her friend, Julia. Auddie replied, “Oh, yeah, I saw that on TV last week!” (she was referring to the commercial)
As she’s taking off the shoes I just put on her, I say (exasperated), “Audrey, put those shoes back on!” She wrinkles up her nose and says, “Don’t be so crabby, Mom.”
“Mom, this is gonna be a GREAT Valentine’s Day. I’m gonna rock my show.”
I laughed and she said, “You have to rock your show, Mom.”
This morning I told her she’s going to the Disney Playhouse thing this weekend with her friend, Julia. Auddie replied, “Oh, yeah, I saw that on TV last week!” (she was referring to the commercial)
As she’s taking off the shoes I just put on her, I say (exasperated), “Audrey, put those shoes back on!” She wrinkles up her nose and says, “Don’t be so crabby, Mom.”
February 2009
About it raining on Sunday…
“Oh no! I don’t want my pretty head to get messed up!”
***************
Audrey last night…
Nina, say “Audrey”
Nina, say “dog”
Nina, say “cat”
Nina, say “wine”
(Aunt Holly and I were having a glass of wine at the time)
***************
And this morning…
Me: “Did you sleep all night in your own bed?”
Auddie: “Yeah. I had a rough night.”
“Oh no! I don’t want my pretty head to get messed up!”
***************
Audrey last night…
Nina, say “Audrey”
Nina, say “dog”
Nina, say “cat”
Nina, say “wine”
(Aunt Holly and I were having a glass of wine at the time)
***************
And this morning…
Me: “Did you sleep all night in your own bed?”
Auddie: “Yeah. I had a rough night.”
More March 2009
Audrey and Nina were drawing on the concrete with chalk.
Audrey: “I’m drawing a picture of you, Mama. Do you have a big head?”
Me: “No!”
Audrey (dead serious): “Yes you do.” And she proceeded to make an exaggerated circle.
*********************************
Last night, she was writing her name. She said, my name isn’t Audrey Laine Turner anymore. It’s Audrey Laine Turner SUN.
Audrey: “I’m drawing a picture of you, Mama. Do you have a big head?”
Me: “No!”
Audrey (dead serious): “Yes you do.” And she proceeded to make an exaggerated circle.
*********************************
Last night, she was writing her name. She said, my name isn’t Audrey Laine Turner anymore. It’s Audrey Laine Turner SUN.
March 2009
While shopping with Michael for a “prize” she picked up a wand, waved it around, then put it back. She said, “I don’t want it.” Michael asked her why and she said, “it has too much magic.”
Passing a ball field, “Audrey, do you wanna play baseball?”
“No, too crowded. I’ll play in 4 minutes.”
And the topper this morning…
“Mom, if you do bad writing today at work, you can use my Easter eraser to erase it.” (and she handed me her new eraser) Then she added, “But don’t write that I bite kids, because I don’t. I’m a nice girl.”
Passing a ball field, “Audrey, do you wanna play baseball?”
“No, too crowded. I’ll play in 4 minutes.”
And the topper this morning…
“Mom, if you do bad writing today at work, you can use my Easter eraser to erase it.” (and she handed me her new eraser) Then she added, “But don’t write that I bite kids, because I don’t. I’m a nice girl.”
More May 2009
Auddie and I were at the video store last weekend (Sat night – it was busy). As she walked up and down the kids/family aisles, she suddenly said loudly “Mom! There’s the movie you like!” I knew what was coming…I cautiously peered at the cover in her little hands and …yep…it was “Bunny House” (about a Playboy bunny tossed out of the mansion – no, I haven’t seen it, but I did know the basic premise of it). At that point it didn’t matter if I denied that it was my fave movie – I got the knowing looks from other grownups. So I slinked back into the kid movie aisles.
In the car, Audrey said “Mom, my boob hurts.” I looked at where she rubbed and it was her armpit. “Are you sure it isn’t your armpit?” Auddie, “When we get home, can you doos that thing Daddy doos to you?” (as she makes the shoulder rubbing motion with her hands). I said, “yes.” She replied, “Cause that’s what Daddy doos to make your boobs feel better, right?” Can’t wait for her to offer that to her teachers at daycare.
And now for some short Audrey-isms…
Armpick = armpit
Doos = does
Graduation = congratulations (as in “why did Grandma and Papa go to a congratulations?”)
Gerbil-ing = drooling
AT: Dad, are you going to get the mail?
MT: Yeah, why?
AT: I don’t want you to ‘cause it hurts my feelings.
In the car, Audrey said “Mom, my boob hurts.” I looked at where she rubbed and it was her armpit. “Are you sure it isn’t your armpit?” Auddie, “When we get home, can you doos that thing Daddy doos to you?” (as she makes the shoulder rubbing motion with her hands). I said, “yes.” She replied, “Cause that’s what Daddy doos to make your boobs feel better, right?” Can’t wait for her to offer that to her teachers at daycare.
And now for some short Audrey-isms…
Armpick = armpit
Doos = does
Graduation = congratulations (as in “why did Grandma and Papa go to a congratulations?”)
Gerbil-ing = drooling
AT: Dad, are you going to get the mail?
MT: Yeah, why?
AT: I don’t want you to ‘cause it hurts my feelings.
May 2009
The set-up: Audrey and Nina are playing around the kiddie pool, I’m sitting nearby. Audrey tries to pick up Nina and put her in the pool…Nina, of course, screams
Me: Audrey, you let Nina get in at her own pace.
AT: (scrunched up nose) What’s “her own pace?”
Me: It means let her get in and get wet when she wants to – not when you want her to.
AT: Oh, so you were speaking Spanish.
***************************
Audrey: Mom, can I have some of those bracelets on my teeth (she smiles wide and points to her teeth)?
She meant braces.
***************************
I’m driving, Audrey is in the back. I mutter something about a “stupid driver.”
AT: Mom, you’re not supposed to say that word.
Me: Oh, sorry.
1 min later, I mutter “thank you” to another driver.
AT: Good job, Mom. Very nice.
Me: Audrey, you let Nina get in at her own pace.
AT: (scrunched up nose) What’s “her own pace?”
Me: It means let her get in and get wet when she wants to – not when you want her to.
AT: Oh, so you were speaking Spanish.
***************************
Audrey: Mom, can I have some of those bracelets on my teeth (she smiles wide and points to her teeth)?
She meant braces.
***************************
I’m driving, Audrey is in the back. I mutter something about a “stupid driver.”
AT: Mom, you’re not supposed to say that word.
Me: Oh, sorry.
1 min later, I mutter “thank you” to another driver.
AT: Good job, Mom. Very nice.
More June 2009
About swim lessons…
“Mom, next time you sign me up for swim lessons, make sure it’s the class where I don’t have to go underwater.”
“Going underwater hurts my feelings.”
And she’s obsessed with weddings…
AT: Mom, I’ll buy you your next wedding dress.
Me: That’s nice, but I’m not getting married again.
AT: Why?
Me: Because I’d like to stay with your dad.
AT: He’ll be invited.
On the way to swim lessons the other day…
AT: Mom, why did you have two girls in your tummy?
Me: God wanted me to have girls.
AT: Who’s God?
Me: (oh, geez) God is Jesus’ father.
AT: Who’s Jesus?
Me: We’ll ask your dad to explain it tonight.
AT: because you don’t know the answer?
About Michael’s job…
MT: I got a different job, Noodle.
AT: Are you cleaning? (in her mind, he went from firefighter—because fire trucks are at HAMMER—to being a janitor)
One evening…
“Mom, feel my bones. They’re strong because I just drank milk.”
“Mom, next time you sign me up for swim lessons, make sure it’s the class where I don’t have to go underwater.”
“Going underwater hurts my feelings.”
And she’s obsessed with weddings…
AT: Mom, I’ll buy you your next wedding dress.
Me: That’s nice, but I’m not getting married again.
AT: Why?
Me: Because I’d like to stay with your dad.
AT: He’ll be invited.
On the way to swim lessons the other day…
AT: Mom, why did you have two girls in your tummy?
Me: God wanted me to have girls.
AT: Who’s God?
Me: (oh, geez) God is Jesus’ father.
AT: Who’s Jesus?
Me: We’ll ask your dad to explain it tonight.
AT: because you don’t know the answer?
About Michael’s job…
MT: I got a different job, Noodle.
AT: Are you cleaning? (in her mind, he went from firefighter—because fire trucks are at HAMMER—to being a janitor)
One evening…
“Mom, feel my bones. They’re strong because I just drank milk.”
June 2009
Last weekend, I heard Michael upstairs, asking the girls why there was a bunch of pieces/strips of toilet paper all over the bathroom floor around the toilet. Neither confessed and instead pointed fingers at each other. It happened a second time and still neither confessed.
Then last night, while Michael was putting Audrey to bed, I noticed the downstairs guest bathroom door was closed (and Audrey had been in there earlier). I opened it and found a meticulously constructed “toilet seat cover” made of toilet paper squares. She’s seen me do it enough times in public restrooms that she thought it best to start doing it at home, too. I took a picture, of course.
When she went in this morning and discovered I’d taken it off – she was not a happy camper.
Then last night, while Michael was putting Audrey to bed, I noticed the downstairs guest bathroom door was closed (and Audrey had been in there earlier). I opened it and found a meticulously constructed “toilet seat cover” made of toilet paper squares. She’s seen me do it enough times in public restrooms that she thought it best to start doing it at home, too. I took a picture, of course.
When she went in this morning and discovered I’d taken it off – she was not a happy camper.
More April 2009
She wanted me to push her on the swing… “up to the sky”
I pushed a few times and she said encouragingly, “That’s it, Mom. Good job.”
*********************
She slept in her bed all night, so she called Michael this morning to get his congrats. She said, “Dad, now I get a BIG prize. Will you take me to the Dollar Store?”
She’s so his child.
I pushed a few times and she said encouragingly, “That’s it, Mom. Good job.”
*********************
She slept in her bed all night, so she called Michael this morning to get his congrats. She said, “Dad, now I get a BIG prize. Will you take me to the Dollar Store?”
She’s so his child.
April 2009
The girls went to my friend, Jonna’s, house yesterday. Her boyfriend was there and the four of them hung out for a while. Audrey asked her later, “why does your boyfriend spend the night here?”
Jonna’s response: “Oh! He doesn’t.”
Audrey asked me yesterday morning how babies got in mommies tummies. I said, “God puts them there. Now buckle up – time to go to school!”
Jonna’s response: “Oh! He doesn’t.”
Audrey asked me yesterday morning how babies got in mommies tummies. I said, “God puts them there. Now buckle up – time to go to school!”
More February 2009
Last night…
“Mom! Look! It’s the bright wishing star!”
“Cool. Did you make a wish?”
“Yes.”
“What did you wish for?”
“A computer.”
“Mom! Look! It’s the bright wishing star!”
“Cool. Did you make a wish?”
“Yes.”
“What did you wish for?”
“A computer.”
January 2009
“Mom, will you turn on Scooby-Doo for me?”
“I don’t have any taped, Auddie, and it isn’t on.”
“Pleeeeaaase...I’ll give you five dollars.”
“I don’t have any taped, Auddie, and it isn’t on.”
“Pleeeeaaase...I’ll give you five dollars.”
January 2009
As I’m unloading two kids, two backpacks, two lunch boxes, coats, hats, gloves…and a partridge in a pear tree…from the car at daycare…
Mom, what’s this (it was a tampon)
Oh, we’ll talk about that later
Is it a prize for me?
No, we’ll talk about it later. It’s for grown-up girls.
Can you eat it?
No. We’ll talk about it later.
Why’s it a secret?
It isn’t a secret. WE’LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.
Then I ignored her follow-on questions about it.
Mom, what’s this (it was a tampon)
Oh, we’ll talk about that later
Is it a prize for me?
No, we’ll talk about it later. It’s for grown-up girls.
Can you eat it?
No. We’ll talk about it later.
Why’s it a secret?
It isn’t a secret. WE’LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.
Then I ignored her follow-on questions about it.
February 2009
Yesterday, Audrey, Nina and I were walking back from a friend’s house. Audrey said excitedly, “Nina! You’re walking like a person!”
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